She asked me to stay all night...

and I told her that I already had a place to stay, but that I appreciated the offer.

I was twenty-six, and dancing with one of the hottest girls I have ever danced with. I completely misunderstood her offer.

I was visiting a friend in Atlanta during a national Sociology conference. She was my best friend's friend's girlfriend. We spent several hours at her house before we went dancing. We got along extremely well.

I realized what I had done about three minutes later.

Three minutes and two sentences too late.

I've spent the last twenty years in utter disbelief. I'm nearly beyond the despair, the grief, the remorse.

Perhaps I'm no better now than I ever was at reading such signs. There's no telling what opportunity I might have alienated during nearly fifty years of completely missing gestures I thought covered by genetic receptors. I guess. I doubt if there are many hot women who've thrown themselves at me. I guess.

I wonder if my seamless slide into letchery has altered my perceptiveness.

It matters less now.

It matters
          less
       than
   ever.