If I could choose a super power...

it would be the ability to be relaxed and always pleasant.

It is harsh being coarse and having a temper. Impromptu presents a constant danger. I do not suffer an attack supine.

I do not drink alcohol. My continued abstinence has nothing to do with any moral judgment. It has mostly to do with my certain knowledge that intemperance does not mix well with my intemperance.

I am basic working-class peasant stock. I found my reflection just where I needed it.

I have worked very hard to educate myself, including diction lessons, German universities, and history books. I have poured tens of thousands of educational dollars into conquering my self doubt.

I have not overcome it.

I have not mastered the rage of inequity, though I have largely mastered its visible aspects. I have mastered the fear of public speech, but not the ellipsis of disorganization native to my mind. I have come to accept that I am often better at what I do than others, but I cannot relax to take my advantage for granted.

I am explosive with the need to prove myself to myself. Peasants have no need to prove themselves to others. Except to prove our control over self.

To what sort of inverted self-actualization am I addicted?

I know that my super power now comes in a bottle labeled Prozac or Seredyn. Personality in a bottle. I could not live with such an admission of failure.

I can live without my super power.

I hope
  those I meet,
            those I love,
       would be friends,
               can
          live well
          without it
   too.